Friday, March 11, 2011

lion to lamb

We've all heard it a thousand times: March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. So you're asking yourself: if the first day is a lion, and the last day is a lamb, what are all the other days? My thoughts exactly.

Say you poke your head out on a blustery March day, and you think: well its not as bad as a lion I guess, but that freezing mist bouncing off my eyeballs isn't exactly lamb-like, I wonder just how bad it is today? Couldn't be simpler, just check the handy chart below to find your answer.

Here's an example: Today is the 12th, so its a lynx. Wouldn't want to get in a scrap with a lynx, would you? But if your fast, you can probably make it. You're fine mate! Its only a lynx, jog off to work. But you may want to bring a bit of raw meat to drop and run, if needs be.

So here it is. I put at least 20 minutes of hard work into this, so its bound to be adopted worldwide in a flash. If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave me a comment, though I can't imagine how this could be improved.

March 1 - Lion: This one's a given. Look at those TEETH!
March 2 - Tiger: One could argue that this one should really be first... too bad.
March 3 - Bear: Oh my! Black, Brown, Polar, you never know.
March 4 - Shark: If it rains hard enough, they'll be in the streets.
March 5 - Wolf: Bad enough alone, if days like this run in packs, you're done for.
March 6 - Bull: One word: Pamplona.
March 7 - Moose: Brake for moose, it could save your life.
March 8 - Eagle: Beautiful and majestic from a distance, not as nice when its on you.
March 9 - Scorpion: What harm could a day like this do?
March 10 - Dingo: No, its not a stray dog.
March 11 - Hawk: See eagle, only slightly less bad.
March 12 - Lynx: The good news: its not a lion. The bad new: everything else.
March 13 - Bat: They're kind of cute... until they bite you.
March 14 - Monkey: It might wear a fez... or throw poo. HBD Coleen!
March 15 - Snake: The Ides of March. Snakes are known for wisdom, and treachery.
March 16 - Ox: Its like a bull, only slow and kind of stupid.
March 17 - Elephant: Wise, big, powerful and gray.
March 18 - Raven: Dark and brooding today.
March 19 - Stag: Power and compassion. You might see the sun!
March 20 - Crab: This one can sneak up on you.
March 21 - Goat: Stubborn and tough going.
March 22 - Horse: Strong and reliable.
March 23 - Pig: Smart but messy; wear your boots today.
March 24 - Dog: Friendly and good-natured; take a walk.
March 25 - Dolphin: Fun and wet; bring an umbrella.
March 26 - Rooster: Proud strutter. Crow at the sun!
March 27 - Turtle: Muddy, but adorable; boots again.
March 28 - Toad: Are they greenish-brown, or brownish-green?
March 29 - Robin: These guys are out when the worms show.
March 30 - Rabbit: How can you be scared of rabbits? HBD Kelton!
March 31 - Lamb: Mmm... arrosticini. Smells like spring!

According to one source I read "This phrase has its origins with the constellations Leo, the Lion, and Aries, the ram or lamb. It has to do with the relative positions of these constellations in the sky at the beginning and end of the month." Yeah, rams and lambs... Sounds good to me!

Chin up everyone; tomorrow's a bat!

1 comment:

  1. As usual, your evolved humor is refreshing. Thank you for the book reviews. See the movie that goes with the Girl with the Dragon Tatoo; the Swedish film makers are so .....Swedish...little to no filtering, subtitles, fairly raw...I liked it. Thanks for thinking of me. col


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